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The past month has been intense in terms of stress, change and all kinds of emotion – from growing dread to joy and elation in some cases. But stressful, nonetheless. 

Research has shown that when under pressure men generally go to fight-flight-freeze and women in general take actions that are known as “tend and befriend” which busts the ages old myth that we all go to “fight, flight or freeze” when the going gets tough.

In late 1988 I experienced this firsthand when my wonderful first born joined me on the planet, along with a multitude of injuries and stress and struggle due to the delivery process.

Many would say I should have blamed and sued the hospital for mishandling the delivery. Others have shared that they would have found themselves resentful of their child, whose delivery caused the damage. Some quietly suggested that I simply ignore what was going on in my body, tighten my jaw, and get on with my life.

I did none of those.

What I did do was reach out to the those around me, asking for help - and then embark on a healing journey that has continued to this day.

First, I explored what it would take to heal my own body – learning more about the intricacies of my own female anatomy and physiology, as well as which practitioners could help me.

There was not a lot in those early years. But I found my first pelvic floor Physical Therapist and with her guidance and skills began to recover some sensations that had disappeared with that delivery. I learned the names and functions of my most intimate parts and what they needed to recover.

Next, I looked at what acupuncture had to offer in terms of energy points (my then husband was a master acupuncturist.) Helping him in a number of his sessions taught me about powerful energy points throughout the body and specifically in the pelvic floor to heal and return energy to someone with damage to that area.

Then, as chance would have it, while teaching at Esalen Institute one summer, I was asked to facilitate a 2-hour “For Women Only” staff healing process. As I meditated on what I could do that would be impactful in that brief a time, I put together a simple ceremony that any woman could offer and receive when needed.

The outcome of that first gathering was remarkable:

• A woman who had a difficult first delivery was in tears of relief as she felt the warmth returning to her pelvis.
• Women who had been sexually violated reported feeling comfortable and safe in that part of their body for the first time in years.
• A timid, quiet young woman shared how empowered she felt for the first time in her 19 years.
• And all the women who attended agreed how wonderful it was to be in a community of women healing women.

In short, healing was happening at various levels all over the room. The responses drew me further down my own path.

I was asked to create a whole workshop with that simple but profound hands-on ceremony at the center point. So, I did.

A pelvic floor physical therapist took an early class and offered to expand and teach the anatomy and physiology of how our bodies operate optimally – where things can go wrong and what can be done to correct it.

Pelvic floor yoga and other breath, movement and sound work were added.

Healthy boundaries and emotional healing fit right in.

The workshop expanded to hold all this valuable material and women consistently told us it was life-changing, empowering, heart opening and grounding.

The women drawn to these workshops propelled me forward in my own healing.

And here we are today – at a time in history where women – strong, intelligent women are rising. And we all need healing community to step into our power fully – with integrity.

So please, if this speaks to you -- or you know a woman who would resonate with it -- share this information with her.

And may we all rise in power, in the energy of love, to heal ourselves and the planet.

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