I am noticing something quite fascinating these days. I don’t know if it is due to the turbulence of the last 3 years or to my decades of inner healing work, or something else entirely. And I am doing my best to welcome this process.
Each day something new appears on the screen of my life and offers me the opportunity to step into it - which often requires that I let go of some long-held certainty, belief or rule I had somewhere deep inside of me.
It might be some belief about myself born out of personal experience or what I have been told is true. Or it might be a belief about something outside of me – other people, places, or events. I might be aware that I run my life based on this certainty or belief, or, I may be oblivious as to how this long held belief is ruling my life.
Either way, when it rises into my conscious awareness as something I need to revisit – NOW I have a choice. I can hold onto it even more tightly, as I scramble to find ways to shore up my position, which, by the way, can be totally exhausting.
Or… I can hold it loosely, or heaven forbid - let it go… and see what happens.
“I am not strong enough to lift that box/suitcase/bag of groceries” was a SOLID TRUTH for me in the last 3 decades. Period. This rule was based firmly on my experiences of very limited core strength from an injury, along with an auto-immune condition which limited my recovery.
Well…this rule has recently been replaced by a growing sense of inner core strength from working out in a whole new way, finally hearing what my PT friends were telling me, and utilizing my cold laser daily.
So much for that rule!
Two points for the Positive Self-Esteem Team!
It was a little different when circumstances forced me to question the belief that “I am a wonderful communicator who listens well.” This may be true a lot of the time as I have spent decades refining these skills in order to teach and help those around me.
Being a good listener and communicator had become such a core part of my identity that when life started challenging this, it was downright painful.
It has taken some time, inner reflection, and lots of self-compassion but I am now able to hold this one loosely enough to realize that there are times where I don’t listen well…as in, “Whoa, I sure missed the boat on that one – what was I thinking about as I listened to them? Clearly, I made some assumptions and missed their point completely.”
This is humbling. It requires some apologies, accountability, and ultimately deeper integrity.
And, at the same time, it is freeing.
With some good, solid, healing work, my Inner Perfectionist continues to soften more every day. Her job of being overly responsible for my whole world has been downgraded to a volunteer position, and only when asked for and needed. From acting as my Prime Directive to a Volunteer position? Who knew? LOL…
I find it easier and easier to let go of judgments about myself, and others (others still being easier).
I am slowing down and enjoying my work and my life a lot more these days..
I was recently able to laugh at myself with my dear friend Kay as we remembered a trip we took together a number of years ago to Vancouver. At the time, she could hardly pry my fingers away from my computer prep work so we could go out and have some fun for the day in Stanley Park before our class started. My belief that I had to do it perfectly was firmly in control that day! Thank goodness she was a strong enough influence to make me shift gears and relax for a bit.
The blessing of this unstable, mixed-up time period we are all living through right now is that it has shaken loose a lot – in some cases our most cherished and long held certainties, beliefs and rules about life and love and relationships and work and safety….
And offered us an opportunity to see them in a new light and Choose Again…
Hopefully stepping into a life with more Integrity, Love, Courage and Flow and Delight.
Something new is arising for all of us. What are you making out of it?
Suzanne Scurlock, author of books Reclaiming Your Body and Full Body Presence and creator of the Healing From the Core® curriculum,specializes in conscious awareness and its relationship to the healing process. She’s written hundreds of articles, including numerous columns and features for Massage Magazine and Massage Today.
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