When Those We Love Are in Need
November 6, 2013
Last week I worked with a client who has just been through a hard time with a close friend. Her friend had breast cancer and as the process unfolded it became clear she needed a full mastectomy. My client has such a warm, caring heart that in the past she has been deeply affected and exhausted by supporting loved ones in situations like this one. In her efforts to help she empties out her own energy reservoirs hoping to alleviate the other person’s pain and suffering. As you can imagine, this does not ever end well.
However, this time as her friend went through all her medical procedures, my client shared her love and caring, while not giving herself away. She remembered to let go of trying to control it all, and turned it over to Spirit continually. She took care of herself, so that her energy reservoirs stayed as full as they could during this harrowing process. And, the two of them have emerged with a much deeper friendship. My client remembered to remain connected to her friend, as the caring, grounded presence she can be, rather than vibrating at the fear level that cancer can bring to us all. In doing this they both came through it with a lot less suffering. I love the Buddhist saying, “Pain is inevitable in life. Suffering is optional.”
This lesson has been a big one for me as well in the last two weeks. My dear friend and colleague, Emilie Conrad, let her whole Continuum teaching community know last week that a recent MRI, after months of unremitting headaches, showed that she has four brain tumors. As she takes action to deal with them, I am here, thousands of miles away, doing my best to send her love, support and whatever I can share with her that will help her healing process. It has not been easy for me.
Some mornings I mentally deliver an armful of roses to her door, simply letting her know how much I love her in way that does not invade her space. On other mornings it feels right to give her a warm hug. And above all, I keep turning this over to Spirit – it is truly way too big for me to try to fix. Because of the distance and immensity of it, I am forced in a way, to let go of over-responsiblity taking, while not letting go of my loving connection to her. Each morning in my meditations and prayers I am facing this lesson – and letting it move through me. I invite all of you who know and love Emilie to consciously join the rest of her community in this loving support for her healing.
She gave us all permission to share this with everyone and I have sat with it for a week, sorting out my own feelings so that I could clearly communicate to all of you in the best way possible where she is and what would be helpful. Paraphrasing her words, ”Although this is not what I would have consciously chosen, it is the path I have been given, and I am intrigued with what will emerge.”
Emilie is in good spirits and her therapies (ozone and several others which I do not know details about) have stopped the tumor growth. She is continuing her classes at her Santa Monica studio and her virtual classes, however she has cancelled all classes outside of California to give herself more time to go into deep inquiry and practices to let healing this process unfold fully.
Sending her love and supporting her deep connection to the Universe so she will have what she needs to walk this path.