The Rhythm of Contact and Withdrawal

As I travel with others, I sometimes have guest writers contribute to my blog. Today our guest is Deb Schneider-Murphy, a Healing From the Core Presenter, a somatic psychotherapist and a practicing CranioSacral therapist from Columbus, Ohio.

“Deer are a frequent occurrence here at Claymont Court. I noticed the patters of the deer trails, diverge and converge. Because they are social animals, they seek one another’s company for safety. They also disperse at times for safety.

So it is with us. Because we, too, are social animals, we seek contact. But we have an equally important need for separateness and withdrawal.

Following the rhythm of our appetite for both contact and withdrawal is no easy task. This is especially true when the interactions between us is delicious. Often, we want to hold on and linger, missing the internal sensations that lead us back to self.

Withdrawal is an essential for our individual and relational health. We withdraw when the “together moment” becomes too intense for us. We withdraw to find ourselves again when we are pleasantly satiated with good contact. We withdraw to digest, integrate, and process our learning. Today, I plan to remember the importance of returning to self.


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