Listen to Suzanne narrate this month's newsletter. Click the image above.

SO....this year has brought me more change than any year in my life so far and I have learned some important lessons in the process that would be valuable for everyone – bear with me here.

Those of you who know me well, know that I have spent decades studying and teaching about relationships and communication, about connection and touch that heals, about working out differences and creating love in all the corners of our lives. I have been completely committed to it - written books about being fully present and what our wonderful bodies have to offer us in terms of wisdom.

And yet, in my own most intimate partnerships deep, abiding happiness eluded me.

Until now. In this last year. And I didn’t fight it or push it away.

I fell deeper and deeper in love with my beloved Phil as each day passed – our hearts simply seemed to melt together. Something I have never experienced before.

He sold his house, moved in, and we got married! Something I was not planning on doingever again. And it was wonderful and easy and comfortable.

Lesson #1: Let change happen. Rather than fight it, dance with it, dive into it, shift your perspective on it, and go for it.

Get grounded and then forget all those outside rules they tell you about how soon to share what in a new relationship. If sharing how you are feeling without blame or shaming brings more intimacy, and a deeper sense of connection, then go for it. If the other person shrinks away, well, then, not meant to be. Don’t second guess the flow of connection. Let change happen.

For both of us the real magic began when we didn’t slow down the natural change that was unfolding before us like someone was laying down a path made just for us. We didn’t rush, but we didn’t slow it down either. We took it at a pace that felt right to both of us. Sometimes I am the initiator of the change, sometimes he is...but it has to feel right to both of us in order to step into it.

When we first knew each other, we were sitting in my sunroom one cold winter’s morning and I said to him, “Wouldn’t it be great to have a couch in here, so we can sittogetherand keep each other warm as we watch the sunrise, rather than being in these separate chairs?” He totally agreed that was a wonderful idea. We sat in silence for a moment and then I decided to make it happen. I quietly went into to the living room and started pushing my little couch into the sunroom. He called to me and asked what I was doing – when I told him, he uttered a phrase we would use with each other from that moment onward.

“NOW? You are doing itnow?” And so, our pace of letting change happen was set in motion. The couch came into the sunroom that morning and the magic began.

Lesson #2:Express your gratitude for what is unfolding every day. When we remember to express our gratitude to each other, magic happens. There is something about the energy of gratitude that actuallyfeedsmagic.

Phil is a partner who is as grateful as I am for the rich sweetness between us. We reach for each other and offer love in words, touch and actions on a daily basis. We don’t take anything for granted. When I thank him for what he has just done for me (from cooking meals to cleaning them up, from happily going to pick up incoming family at the airport to supporting my work efforts) he says, “Of course I am doing this for you –this is what partners do for each other.”

Wow – yes. Thisiswhat partners naturally do for each other, through the joy and the pain – a hip replacement (his) and pelvic floor surgery (mine). Grateful for the easy flow of support and love.

When my daughter Alieza and her wife Haley and my young grandson, Leif arrived at the airport for their first visit, Phil went out to pick them up. They had not yet met so I described the car and where he would wait for them. When they came out of the Arrivals Door, they were so grateful to be met, but completely overwhelmed with the amount of luggage new parents have to truck around with them. Haley walked ahead with Leif and Phil caught sight of them. He hugged her and took Leif, who gladly nestled right into his arms beaming up at him, so Haley could go back and rescue Alieza from the mountain of travel paraphernalia. The magic of gratitude and warmth.

I am so happy to be with a partner who has such deep gratitude for me, for us, for our connection, and the magic that flows between us and around us because of that gratitude.

He regularly looks at me with a deep warmth in his eyes and says, “You have no idea...” when I compliment him on something that I really appreciate about him. Those four simple words are code for the depth of feeling between us in that moment.

So, November is the month of Thanksgiving here at my house, and this year the flow of magic in my life is richer and more robust.

It starts with a willingness to change – and then a welcoming of gratitude for each day and what it brings to each of us. And moving beyond that it requires that I ask each morning, “What is mine to do today?”

And all of this despite a world which holds such an insane political environment of chaos, stupidity and cruelty, at every turn making the world a less safe place to live for so many...

So, I have a challenge for you this month.

This is for all of us who want the world to be a kinder, more sane and caring place.

Are you willing to start your own flow of magic?

Can you open to and step into change in your life?

Are you willing to start recognizing and sharing the gratitude you have for whatever is in your world to be grateful for?

The world really does need us to do this right now.

One small or large step at a time.

Each one of us, need to be asking ourselves,

“At a soul level, what is mine to do today, this week, in the coming year?”