Emotional Dependency – What is Too Much?
One of my favorite columnists, Carolyn Hax, takes on a familiar topic – boundaries, emotional boundaries to be exact – in her column today (click on her name above to get to the column) and I thought you all would enjoy her take on it. I whole heartedly agree with what she has to say. Her closing remarks use entirely new words with much the same meaning as my definition of a healthy boundary in Full Body Presence.
“Since the advice (earlier in her column) is essentially to beware when the source of your quality of life or happiness lives outside your body, I don’t think it’s limited to romantic relationships. You can apply it to friends, siblings, parents, prized possessions, pets, jobs, a geographic area, anything. Honor the moment by accepting that it can end at any time.” (Italics are mine.)
Her advice actually relates closely to my recent blog post Leaning Outward or Leaning Inward, in which I was asking the question about one’s habitual stance in life, energetically. Is it one of “leaning outward” into your world and depending on all those around you for your happiness, etc. or do you know how to “lean inward” and stand within the boundaries of your own skin happily? Do you know how to fill up the container of your being right out to your skin? Do you know how to calm your own nervous system when you feel anxious or jittery? Do you know how to sit with uncomfortable emotions without imploding or exploding? Do you know how to create happiness within yourself – to receive from the world around you what nurtures you most? These are just a few of the important questions we all need to be asking of ourselves in order to gauge how healthy our emotional life actually is…and Carolyn has added another whole dimension to it in her column today that clarifies a normally difficult concept quite well. Thank you ,Carolyn.